Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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