I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
