Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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