Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
