I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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