We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
