what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
