I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
