I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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