yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's always time for handjobs
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
