As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
