I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
