EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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