We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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