currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize