you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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