fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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