no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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