Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
