thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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