Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
