I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
