I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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