OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
