It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
