just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
