found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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