i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
