Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
