We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
