my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
