Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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