On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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