thus making me awesome and them whores
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Randomize
