We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Randomize
