Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
