I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
