Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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