He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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