she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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