I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
