watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
