rhymes with "ouble enetration"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
