Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
