He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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