She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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