wat bout pragnant strippers??
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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