My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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