So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
