I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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