so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is it because I queefed?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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