thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We don't watch enough power rangers
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other