Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home

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(919): Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home http://tfl.nu/42nr

Replies (59) Good night (2707) Bad night (615)
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(302): View more from Delaware

there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY

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(302): there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY http://tfl.nu/y320

Replies (22) Good night (4445) Bad night (647)
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(631): View more from New York

It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.

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(631): It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom. http://tfl.nu/aix7

Replies (48) Good night (6579) Bad night (2012)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.

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(320): You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time. http://tfl.nu/fdjv

Replies (7) Good night (1439) Bad night (3381)
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(458): View more from Oregon

I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.

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(458): I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/ja3o

Replies (19) Good night (1215) Bad night (5491)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.

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(306): I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious. http://tfl.nu/psu6

Replies (3) Good night (1258) Bad night (735)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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(715): An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all. http://tfl.nu/7eme

Replies (12) Good night (3897) Bad night (900)
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(646): View more from New York

The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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(646): The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help http://tfl.nu/rosq

Replies (6) Good night (547) Bad night (1116)
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(540): View more from Virginia

By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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(540): By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill. http://tfl.nu/ghyy

Replies (0) Good night (788) Bad night (397)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores

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(770): I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores http://tfl.nu/zgxa

Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (395)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.

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(307): I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars. http://tfl.nu/4ihs

Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (349)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.

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(731): I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn. http://tfl.nu/zsew

Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (444)
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(503): View more from Oregon

So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?

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(503): So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you? http://tfl.nu/dh4l

Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (419)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?

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(973): Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990? http://tfl.nu/ls6v

Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (517)
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(251): View more from Alabama

I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.

(1-251): View more from Alabama

It was totally the lead singer.

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(251): I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced. (1-251): It was totally the lead singer. http://tfl.nu/pb9x

Replies (6) Good night (698) Bad night (332)

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