i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
