i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.