oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.