Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  wait.... you do what?

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  (801): see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks (1-801): wait.... you do what? http://tfl.nu/1q1g
  Replies (18) Good night (3581) Bad night (921)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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  (715): Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/2g9l
  Replies (28) Good night (1211) Bad night (3963)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

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  (917): half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country. http://tfl.nu/tafy
  Replies (262) Good night (20686) Bad night (2203)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"

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  (303): hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen" http://tfl.nu/6cx3
  Replies (52) Good night (9510) Bad night (910)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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  (386): its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea. http://tfl.nu/ey40
  Replies (3) Good night (1274) Bad night (1990)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead

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  (502): Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead http://tfl.nu/4b2b
  Replies (18) Good night (5433) Bad night (1260)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.

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  (914): I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed. http://tfl.nu/d2yj
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (784)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs

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  (519): The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs http://tfl.nu/wzfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1499) Bad night (681)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.

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  (386): Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days. (904): You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal. http://tfl.nu/6thw
  Replies (3) Good night (1241) Bad night (640)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

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  (702): Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/d72k
  Replies (1) Good night (1673) Bad night (491)
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  (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

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  (737): Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner. http://tfl.nu/o0od
  Replies (5) Good night (1474) Bad night (702)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me

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  (406): Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me http://tfl.nu/g324
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (429)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road

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  (814): Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road http://tfl.nu/0xhz
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (295)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?

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  (269): I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that? http://tfl.nu/gk3a
  Replies (6) Good night (827) Bad night (310)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.

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  (302): We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark. http://tfl.nu/uofm
  Replies (10) Good night (803) Bad night (362)

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