Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.