sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
