Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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