She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
