where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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