you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
