Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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