Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize