big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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