i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
