ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
